i like this song.. alot alot alot. omg. haizzz. suddenli feel like im such a failure. be it because of all the "bad comments" ive been hearing or simply my life is just full of negativity and critism that praises seems so belittled. haizzz... wads wrong wib me anyway din go for teenage competition. go also no use. gaf up. shit myself.
但愿你的眼睛,只看得到笑容。 但愿你留下每一滴泪,都让人感动 但愿你以后每一个梦不会一场空。
its cruel. it hurts alot sucks alot to wake up from a dream and realise its simply all illusions. miracles, seems not to appear in the reality but dreams. haizz..
但愿你听得懂该何去何从
i'll try.
9:12 PM
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Tuesday, July 22, 2008
我来自偶然像一颗尘土 有谁看出我的脆弱 我来自何方我情归何处 谁在下一刻呼唤我
天地虽宽这条路却难走 我看遍这人间坎坷辛苦 我还有多少爱我还有多少泪 要苍天知道我不认输
感恩的心感谢有你 伴我一生让我有勇气作我自己 感恩的心感谢命运 花开花落我一样会珍惜 ~感恩的心
too busy to blog lately, or rather i find blogging smhow redundant. i realised that since u cant change anything abt it then shall just take it as it is and forget it. its just like that. i realised life can never ever be fair nothing can be just. what can i do but just "无所谓".. alot of things happening. dun wanna blog abt them. find no purpose in doing that. silence is the best comfort.
anyway,hows everybodie? pia-ing for Os? gd luck pple! takkaire
getting Voiceless. i dun like tat. next tues got singing test 26th jul got TEenage im sick. flu. dotsness... RWAR anyway. danced ytd and today. tried to sing today. hah CMI man! hmm. rest. im tired
12:38 AM
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Wednesday, July 09, 2008
It rained so heavily in the morn today. Even though i did bring an umbrella i was drenched cause walking to the bus stop, alrd wet and alot of pple stuck at the bus stop, so i offered to share. and one of them carrying guitar, whom i dunnoe another one my fwen so its like 3 pple sharing one umbrella how to not get drenched!! >< Its such a torture not able to eat so much food but its ok, shiying shall be determined for once. at least until i get the ideal weight i wan. Thanks Janel fer walking to sch and getting drenched wib me lol. erm. coldddd the whole day. freezing. chapel was... stoning. literalli i rmb nth that the pastor said lol. LALALALALALA. lazed around after sch. watched tv. hah. erm. lol just watch the show on " zheng rong " funniness and abit gross luhh.. lol. its PG. bleah. hah but ok luh.
i wonder why i cant persevere to study lol. =P shiying's freezing
11:08 PM
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Tuesday, July 08, 2008
hai-died. hah. was ok i guess but was ver tired and feverish and lol. sickish. lol. dam cold. yarr and finalli i say i sore throat they believe cause i realli couldnt sing well. and like too tired cant use energy lol. luckie jerry cabbed me and bryan home. hah. thanks. brrrrr~~~~ sick..........
11:57 PM
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Monday, July 07, 2008
went to haidie today. =] had fun thanks sabbie and chloe lol din go for e audi cause by the time we reach there alrd fin haha went late. so we sang abit. and i met sabbie to talk talk. haha. so fun.
anyway. just to leave a note PLEASE STOP ME FROM EATING ANYTHING FATTENING EVER AGAIN! INCLUDES: CAKE (birthday cakes too) FAST FOOD CURRY MAGGIE FRIED FOOD CHIPS ICE CREAM CHOCOLATES SWEETS BUBBLE TEA PORK (lest boiled?) CHICKEN(lest boiled?) MILK BUTTER CHEESE PIZZA MILK TEA EGGS(lest no oil) BREAD SUGAR CAN DRINKS
up to now this list. please do ure best to stop me getting fat lah. nid jian fei. rawrrrrrrrrrrr jiu ming... =P
Went to ms today. so weird going back after such a long time. luckie it wasnt like ver ver bad, haha. just haha weird lor. after that went wib hx to sing K. haha. sing until po yin pls. tmr haidie got audi for some musical. at least im not gonna be bored at home. erm. no one go out wib me tmr. and the audi start at 7.30 =.= haiz. lol. stay at home maybe try do hw lor. eh. thanks hx made my day ver nice. thanks for being so nice too. lol. we biao-ed alot of songs. woosh
its either im getting xi guan to not going to church or its alrd to other pple a xi guan that im not going. i dunnoe, its like i dun even expect myself to go either. though lol. smtimes when im craziliy crazy i mite miss gg to church or wad but lol. its like ferget it. haha.
haiz. i dunno wad to say. trying not to feel down so much trying not to think too much. its difficult.
oh yarr. recently i keep wearing heels out. sian today wear heels at the mrt there never see the path properli then like nearli fall but just sprainned alittle. rawr. doesnt matter. my sprains pain awhile then nth le lol.
im ver confused abt reality and dreams. suddenli i realised how cruel reality is today dance. i tried my best so called best yet i still cant achieve. cause of my leg prob i cant do alot of steps cant bent down cant squat cant move alot alot of shyt wad can i say? wad can i do? its not that i hate dancing or sth i like it just i realli cant do it.
then after dance, singing. i cant stand pple always trying to deesiao me please do not anyhow gib me hope im getting used to "hopeless" at least when u fall u wun fall from such a great height.
Im beginning to feel super insecure again when pple talk i feel like they are talking sth bad abt me when pple look i feel like im so out of the picture i do want to try maybe to shine but i dunnoe why i always seem to fail. im just weird. happy?
went "shopping" wib bel and nel today. bought FBTs and played arcade bb i won bel. hah. but my shou damn suan. then ate ajisen i tink they deproving. haiz. so its like alot of money spent nowadays. but at least i dun spend in sch and its just one meal a day today in sch health check up was quite nervous scared i nid wear specs =P but hah scare myself.
the world is just so ironic: parents always teach us good values and to always go by these in life yet in the real world, humility is said to be fake honesty is said to be dumb wads this man.
alot of people say im just thinking too much but really loh. i hate some of the things man. like everyone treats someone well just to get sth from that smone. i dun like this.
cant sing well cant dance well cant act well. perhaps my dream is really too far away rather unreachable. is it time to really wake up from this, or still strive hard i have no choice but to psycho myself " i will do my best"
我开始担心 我开始害怕 我开始失望 我开始让自己再度变成只是一个影子 让人容易把我遗忘
11:10 PM
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Feel so stressed. So many pple so much better. argh must work super damn hard. omg feel damn lan. lol crap. im getting bzier man now de schedule is tues singing lesson thurs and fri dance lol. crazines. well but im loving it though. haiz. feel that im still so. far far far from what i wanna be continue working hard? hm.. i'll just do my best
"We grow from our experiences, we learn from our mistake, we have to accept the facts of life. Hatred will only make one suffer.. this world is ever changing.. you can choose to be pessimistic or optimistic.. i realised to change myself i have to rely on myself.. i found out that the sun is not always piercing.. it depends on how you look at it"
12:05 AM
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Wednesday, July 02, 2008
schooled, chapeled. like so unfortunately last min cant dun go. chapel was.. ARGHNESS. i dun like but wadever just stone there. tirednesss.
:(((((((((((((((((((((((((
wordless speechless
i rmb sth ytd. i was so "emo" tat smbody tell me i got de wanna die face and in the mrt. lol challenged me to open the mrt door. and i did.
grats to those who made it into the first audi of be a star.
drastic. choicex. silence clouds act rest giveup
11:10 PM
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Tuesday, July 01, 2008
can tell me wad song to sing fer teenage? fast or slow or wad. school is so tiring and suckie. im sick of it. tmr got chapel damn. hu wanna pon msg me haidie-ed today was ok at first then later abit emo. or rather tired until totally shut off. depends on wad u gonna say i sang last as usual maybe cause lack of time. this time no repetition or maybe they all see i sad or the unhappy face just let me off its weird when huanjie said it sounded like the real singer think he just wanna make me happy =.= then the others also. say wad wah so gan dong. i reallli cant take it as that it feels so. just to make u happy. sianness. im tired.
the wind blew the cold air right at my face at that point i looked back yet i saw no one there i was afraid dun wanna get lost yet right then it rained and then it poured down heavily i looked up in the sky and saw the greyness in my world at that point i realised i really do miss u.
haiz. i realised theres really alot of "sadness" in my world at least just whether u wanna think abt it today it was triggered am sorrie to those hu saw the lost look in my eyes again. im tired.
welcome to my life~
11:25 PM
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PROFILE
[Name]Shi Ying
[egg crack]18th Nov 1992
[skoOl]PL(S)
[CCA]Badminton/D ARTS
[Hobbies]Acting/Singing/Dancing
[Height] 164.5cm
[Spoken languages]English, Chinese and Rojak Dialects
[Music Schools]Lee Wei Song school of music - 2004
Music Story - 2006-2007
Hai Die ( Music Forest) - 2008
[Competitions]CSS ( 1 and 2 )
Teenage Icon Finalist 2007
School Competitions
[Performances]Community Centers Events
RCC Events
Outside Performances - Performing Group of MS
Teenage Icons- Teenage Bday Bash at DXO 2007
Loves
Fann
FCBC
SF
PL
My fwens
Computer
TIs
singing
acting
dancing
experiences
handphone
Wislist
1. Pink or Red and Black Laptop 2. Pink or Red and Black DS nintendo
3. More pooh bears
4. More bags =]
5. More clothes
6. Renovate my room
7. Nice watches
8. Pets (dogs or rabbits)
*Hope my ambitions/dreams can come true*
Ambition: Actress/Singer
Wants: To grow taller
Needs: To get slimmer
Aspire: To improve in acting and singing
Wishes: To learn acting,dancing and singing
Hopes : For joy and love
Thinks : Of getting whiter and prettier (like how i dunnnoe)
Sees: Getting into Mediacorp as my goal
Believes: That hardwork do pay off
Tries: TO do better in studies
Pray: That dreams do come true